The Kind Of Guy I Will Marry

Ever since I entered the supposed “marriageable Age” aunties from all across have joined hands in the ultimate mission of finding the “perfect” guy for me, strangely these Aunties have more interest in my marriage than me or my parents!

While they put all their energies finding eligible guys by roping in relative’s relatives, astrologers, stars, charts, and all that ish, strangely nobody (Literally NO ONE) thought to ask me what kind of guy I am looking for as apparently if our stars match and he is from the same caste, that should be enough, or so I am told!

Unfortunately for them, as a child I had just 1 Barbie and millions of books, so instead of caring for what society expects, my parents prefered I learnt to use my brains (Thank God for them!)

So, just to make the auntie’s work easier, here I compile my (obviously unasked and unimportant) thoughts on my marriage 😉

1) He should be ready to leave everything and everybody for me

2) He should change his name and loose the identity he has created till now and be known in future as myy husband, THAT’s IT.

3) He will see my parents as his parents but he should not be much in contact with his parents

4) As my parents would be his priority, he should keep them as his FIRST priority, if he has to loose his job he has to be ready for it, Afterall, my parents need their hot chappatis,

5) He will cook and clean and do laundry

6) If he has a pet of any kind whom he absolutely adores, he would have to leave it. As it would be absolutely hard for him to adjust to me and my family, how can he bring a pet?

7) He will daily wear signs like manglsutra, put a long red mark on his forhead and bangles.

8) He will not talk to any sundry girls

9) He will not have any friends of his own

10) As my entire family’s izzat lies on HIS AND ONLY HIS head, he will not wear jeans, T-shirts, shirts, pants, shorts etc. My family is not THAT traditional so instead of DHOTI we will allow him to wear pyjamas.

11) He would have to keep his mouth shut in my ‘Family matters’

12) He would do all that he is told meekly

13) He should have no opinion/thoughts of himself

14) If we have kids, he would be SOLE caretaker of them, anything they do will reflect on HIS and ONLY HIS lack of parenting skills.

15) He should regularly fast and conduct pujas for my long life.

If as a guy, you are reading this and found this list ABSOLUTELY AND UTTERLY RIDDICULOUS, I have news for YOU!!

Being a fellow human being when you place THESE EXACT SAME expectations on me, I find the EXACT SAME feeling of utter riddiculousness. And NO, when you clad these expectations in the beautiful coating called “traditions” it remains EXTREMLY STUPID.

So, my dear Aunties, I will marry an intelligent fellow who accepts me for who I am, how I am and What I am and not bound me by stupidities. Age is not a concern, money is not a concern, casteism is absurd in itself so obviously it is of no concern.

My only concern is he should have brains to think for himself and not be a sheep and follow (or should i say force me to follow) stupid things in name of traditions.

He HAS NO RIGHT to ask me to give up something for him, if he is not willing to give up that EXACT thing for me. PERIOD.

I hope THAT is clear aunties!

Let’s not waste my time and yours after double-standarded douchebags!

Cheers!

here is what SUPERWOMAN looks for in a guy! Might I add I agree entirely to this list!!!

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