Dear Daughter, We love you,
Because we are your parents, that is true.
But then you decided to fall in love,
Now death or separation lies in fate of you and your beloved.
How could you put us through so much shame?
Don’t you have any respect for your family’s name?
We have not chosen him for you,
And that is the reason enough for you to bid him adieu.
So what if he is rich, funny, handsome and smart?
So what if he loves you truly with all his heart?
It does not even matter that he is ready to put down his life,
Just to see you happy and make you his for wife.
The guy of our choice you will marry,
Or else your body we will have to bury.
So, dear girl, the choice is entirely up to you.
Don’t fall in love, so that we can love you.
This applied to Indian boys as well.
Good Indian boys and girls are not allowed to fall in love.Love is for ‘bad’, ‘uncultured’ people. This is what is drilled into young Indian’s head since childhood.
This is now changing, as more young adults are now having love marriages, but they have to face a LOT OF emotional blackmail and drama and what not to get married by their own choice.
Even if parents agree, it’s always with a sad face and after repeatedly talking about how they have to ‘sacrifice’ for their children.
Ask them how and what exactly are they sacrificing? And you get answers like honor and place in society. Sometimes it feels that Indian parents care more for their reputation in society than their own kids happiness.
And plus, if choice marriages happen, elders loose their control over their male ‘children’. If the son marries for love, he will stand by his wife and will not allow her to be humiliated and treated like a maid or ask of dowry. But his parents, who feel they are entitled to certain ‘privileges’ for giving birth to a boy, feel betrayed.
So they try to push him in all possible ways to get him into an arranged marriage. So the guy does not feel for the girl, he will not ‘oppose’ to any demands from his parents that they put on the girl. And the girl, who does not know either her husband or the in-laws, has to meekly follow.
Also, because of the ‘paraya dhan’ concept, her parents also do not support her and ask her to ‘adjust’.
This ensures the power lies with the boy’s family.
Love marriages shake this basic model of patriarchy that has been so thoroughly ingrained in out parent’s minds, its tough to break it.
Kudos to those parents who support love marriages, you ROCK!
And GET WELL SOON to those parents who feel their and their society’s happiness comes before their children.
- Because You Are A Girl, You Are Not To Be Educated (thereandtheir.wordpress.com)
- Love or arranged Marriage? (thereandtheir.wordpress.com)
- An email from an Indian father: I want to place on record my own story as a warning to anyone… (tvaraj.com)
- “His parents had already found a girl from his community who they feel is ‘perfect’ for him.” (indianhomemaker.wordpress.com)
- Does a girl ever not be a ‘parayi’? (thereandtheir.wordpress.com)
- Daughter-in-law should not be treated as domestic help, says Supreme Court (indianhomemaker.wordpress.com)
- How India Mass Produces Ram Singhs (thereandtheir.wordpress.com)
- When others want things for us. (ancientindians.wordpress.com)